So much for coming back later, well it's later! LOL It's been a busy week with getting ready for Christmas. The rush is on for school functions, and lets through in a test or 2 and see how fast we can get the 9 year olds to melt down. Josh has a big test today, God I hope he passes it, I'm not even looking for a E, a VG or even a G will do at this point.

I only have a few things left to get for Christmas, I'm sort of holding back, would hate to be all done ya know. LOL I don't have much for Doug and would like to pick up a few more things, the 2 things I got him were expensive, but they sure don't look like much.

The kids are getting so excited, I'm just hoping to get through it all without too many tears. I'm missing my Dad like crazy. I'm missing having a family. I went from having a big family, to just having my own little family. It's very hard. I feel like an outsider. I saw my Aunt and cousin yesterday and it was like they didn't even know what to say to me, or they didn't want to talk to me. I put on my brave face and make like I don't care, but I do, you can bet I do. Everytime someone treats me different than they used to it's like a big ol knife, twisting in my heart, along with the one that I still feel like is in my back. So needless to say, I won't be attending any family functions that are put on by any of my "mother's" family. I think I'll be much happier staying away and not putting myself through that BS.

I need to get up enough nerve to go up to my Aunt and Uncle's place and ask for my scrap book back that I made of my Dad, it has all of the pictures of him that I own. I made it for Nan, but told them that I would want it back "someday" meaning when she was no longer with us. I know they probably haven't even thought of it, but I hate to have to ask for it. But I need it here over the holidays for sure.


Balloons For Christmas

If you look towards the sky on Christmas Eve day,
And you see red balloons floating away,
Don't think that some child has lost their treat
Know that our love is flying today.

The children all yell
And sing out there love
Sending bright red balloons
To all that we've loved.

Merry Christmas Grampie!
And Grams we love you!
So many people we've loved and lost
We love them so much and miss them too.

So if you see our baloons flying high,
Know that they carry way up to the sky,
Our love, our hugs, our kisses too,
To our loved ones who've left us, they had to die.

This is just a practice run, I'll be working it over and changing it I'm sure, over the next 2 weeks. It's dedicated to all the people who Donna-Leigh and I have lost, her Mom, my Dad, her grandparents and mine. We love them and miss them more than words can say.